Saturday, August 13, 2011

To Our College Freshmen

*Note: This is a letter that was written to our new college freshmen for their Senior-Send-Off night at AYM. We said our goodbyes, gave a parting gift, and prayed them on their way last Thursday night.


Dear Graduated Seniors,

            It’s official. I’ve been avoiding this. What do I say to people who have brought so much joy to my life? What advice do I have for people who I know are going to live amazing lives? How do I balance the sadness of goodbye with the hope of exciting adventures to come? I don’t know the answer to a single one of those questions. But here I go anyway…

            First of all, thank you. It seems weird not to start there. But that’s all I’m going to say about that now…I’ll come back to gratitude.

            Secondly, as a group and as individuals you are some of the most amazingly fun people that I know. You have personalities that are so much fun to get to know. And you have been willing to share those personalities with us. Thank you for that.

            Moving on to new phases in life isn’t something that comes easily. And it is usually accompanied by great amounts of fear (and if you’re a girl sudden moments of extreme emotional melt-downs probably happen too). But you adjust. And it isn’t hard forever. I promise.

            Letting go is hard. But we have the great fortune of knowing, believing in, and trusting a God who loves us. You may feel young. You may feel like your faith isn’t that strong. You may worry that what you have now is not enough. But here is a little secret that should probably be shouted from the rooftops – you’ll always have a million reasons to doubt. There will always be a million reasons why you are not enough, why someone else could do it better, and why you’ve probably been wrong about life all along. Every single one of those million reasons are probably true. But not a single one of them matters. We do not belong to ourselves. This life is not about us. It isn’t about what we think we can do. It isn’t about what other people could do instead. This life is about an ever-present, always-alive God who is enough. All you and I have to do is surrender and trust….good luck.

            Don’t be afraid of failure. If you only do the things you know you can do, you’ll only be able to do the things you’ve always done. And you’re likely to miss out on the things God created you to do.

            Don’t be afraid of being hurt. Love is hard. Caring about people and things is a risk. But we aren’t meant to never hurt. And we certainly aren’t meant to never love. Look at Jesus. Love itself became man. Look at the cross. The purpose of His earthly life was to hurt. For love. Don’t let your hearts be closed. People who live life looking inward are people who are unhappy. And they aren’t pleasant to be around. People who give are people who grow. They are people who obviously have life within them. They are people who change the world. Don’t be afraid of hurt. Yes, it sucks. Yes, it is at times unnecessary. But the lessons we learn from the hurt enable us to love better. To give more.

            Approach college (and all of life for that matter) with openness. You’ll have the great pleasure of meeting people from all different backgrounds. Enjoy getting to know them. Embrace the opportunity to learn more about life from them. You’ll develop a clearer picture of reality, and you just might discover more about yourself along the way.

            Remember who you are. You are someone thought about before the beginning of time. You are someone loved perfectly by Love itself. There will be times when you doubt that and times when you absolutely do not feel that. It’s true anyway. It’s true now as you get ready to leave. It’s true a year and a half from now just when you thought that you had this college thing figured out and still things seem to be crashing down around you. It’s true when you have to decide what you’re going to do after college graduation. It’s true when you’re starting a family, becoming a religious sister, or renting the ultimate bachelor pad for the first time. It’s true when things are calm and good. It’s true when things are crazy and not good. You are someone loved perfectly by Love itself. Always be willing to approach God. Be honest with Him. Give yourself the gift of patience: with God and with yourself. The person you will die as is a person that will take time to form. Reaching what you see as the ideal for your life is a process. Nothing slows that process more than trying to rush through it.

            God wants us. All of us. I don’t mean each of us, I mean all of who we are. He wants every hope, every dream. What you and I and every person on this earth has to do is find ways to constantly give ourselves to Him. If anyone has ever told you that we surrender our lives to God once and we are good for the rest of our life, you were lied to. It’s a process. It’s a daily, sometimes minutely, choice. Every time we want something new for ourselves, we have to surrender. If God is going to make us holier, He is going to have to keep asking more and more from us. We make a huge mistake when we let ourselves believe that our surrender will cost us happiness. Satan wins every time we listen to a voice telling us that God will take away everything good and leave us with no joy. Don’t let Satan win. Surrender. Trust. Believe.

            You are holy and amazing. Honestly. Each of you. You can do this. This life thing, this faith thing, this God thing – you can do it. And you can do it well. These past four years here with you have been amazing. Benedictine is one of the best places I’ve ever known, and yet leaving you at the end of each summer and each break made going back to it one of the hardest things I had to do. Thank you for your presence. Thank you for your trust. Thank you for listening and, so much more than that, thank you for sharing. Whether you’ve been coming from the beginning, joined the group later on, or only came sporadically, getting to know you has been wonderful. Ministering to you has been an honor and blessing.

            I’m sorry for any way that we failed to give you what you needed. I’m sorry for every way that we should have loved you more. I remember texting Pete one day. The text said, “Our teens are way more amazing than we lead them to be.” His response simply said, “yep.” With or without us, you are great people. Believe that. Don’t question it. Accept it. You are wonderful. And this is only the beginning. You are ready for this.

            Tonight, we are sending you on your way. Loving and serving you during your time with us has been a gift. Now, your spiritual formation is no longer in our care. Oh, we are always here for you. Always. And you better keep us updated on your lives. But this is the moment for change. Tonight, we can no longer call you our teens. Now, we get to call you our friends. And I don’t know about you guys, but I’m looking at my friendship circle, and I’m kind of thinking it just got a whole lot better.

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